A yearly tradition. Every year, I attend John and Denise’s Oscar’s showdown. Basically, we print out the official ballot from the Oscar’s website and we see who can guess the most Oscar winners. This year was a particularly bad year for movies, and I saw, maybe… umm… 4 movies this year. So basically I was at a huge disadvantage. Quyen and I went with the, pick stuff at random strategy… I was a bit more strategic. I had the, “Brokeback has to win something strategy because it’s so gay” strategy, and the “Pick all the movie’s that I saw this year, unless I had a good reason not to” strategy. Of course, Denise went and spent like 3 days studying all the critic’s and what everyone on the intarweb had to say. My Picks:
Actor–Leading- Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain (Go Go Gay Cowboy Strategy)
- Actor–Supporting- George Clooney - Syriana (I heard it was like his best performance evar. Never saw the flick)
- Actress–Leading- Reese Witherspon - Walk the Line (All about the non-threatening name [translation: wild guess])
- Actress–Supporting- Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener (I actually saw this one. Go Go I saw this movie strategy)
- Animated Feature-Wallace and Grimit in the Curse of the Were Rabbit (I heard it was good. I didn’t hear the other ones being good)
Art Direction-Good Night and Good Luck (I wanted to see it…)Costume Design-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Ooompa Looompa doomity Dee… You’ve got to see.. the costume on meeee… [okay.. wild guess… I shoulda known that Geisha’s were in and eccentric chocolate makers that look like child molesters were out])- Directing-Brokeback Mountain (Go Go Gay Cowboy Strategy!)
- Document Feature-March of the Penguins (I wanted to see it… And I know it made a ridiculous amount of money. Morgan Freeman and Penguins getting eaten by killer whales for the win.)
Documentary Short- God Sleeps in Rwanda (Documentary short? Who cares. I figured the two long titles would confuse the academy too much… The Death of Keven Carter: Casualty of the….**Information Overload, head esplodes** Therefore, between the other two, I figured that God Sleeps in Rwanda had two things going for it: The word ‘God’ in the title, and ‘Rwanda’, which was hot hot hot last year. [but then again, John anticipated this and claimed that Rwanda was now passe.]Film Editing-The Constant Gardener (I saw this movie, and it did have the interesting flashback storyline that was well done. Who was I to know that Crash had multiple threads and flashbacks…. Bah. Thats what I get for not having seen movies.)- Foreign Language Film- Tsotsi (Strategy- American’s are stupid. Therefore, pick the most foreign sounding movie title because they will Oooo and Ahhh over how fresh and new and quaint something is, even if the movie sucks [example: Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon- ooo… It’s so Asian… I mean you have Dragons in the name, but they don’t breath fire… and it’s got an interesting ending that every Asian everywhere saw coming a mile away because that’s how most Asian movies end.] Therefore, it’s a toss up between Joyeux Noel and Tsotsi. Noel is a recognized word among those who know Christmas, so therefore: Tsotsi.)
- Makeup- The Chronicals of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Fantasy world vs boxing, and bad Star Wars film that everyone has seen 5 times before. No Contest).
Original Song- “In the Deep” - Crash (Man I wish knew more about the songs. If I knew the crash song was so damn bad I wolda chosen the Dolly Parton song…. but then who knew that a song about a pimp would win? I guess Rap in, Parton Out. Stewart- Three 6 Mafia 1, Scorsese 0)Best Picture- Brokeback Mountain (bah…. My Gay Cowboy strategy fails me.)Short Film–Animated- 9 (Again with the, short title strategy)Short Film–Live Action- Cashback (Wild Guess)- Sound Editing- Kong ( Saw it. Bad movie, Cool Specials)
Sound Mixing- Walk the Line ( I figured a movie about Cash would win. Shoulda went with the big ape)- Visual Effects- Kong (see above)
Screenplay-Adapted- Munich (WTF was I thinking… Why the hell did I deviate with the Gay Cowboy strategy?)Screenplay — Original - Good Night and Good Luck (Didn’t know that Crash was that good)
Anywho, with a Grand Score of 11, I escape the penalty for having the worst score. I didn’t have to loudly proclaim, “I’m gayer than a gay cowboy in a gay cowboy movie.” Shelly had to do that…. But then again, I only scored two better than a 2 year old. Apparently Lewis is good at picking movie’s with mommy coaching him.
And was it just me, or was there a “wardrobe malfunction” at the end of the Oscars when Crash one. One of the females was jumping up and down and it really looked like she popped out of her dress.
