A real IM dialog:
Me
7:48
would you care to swap your 1-2 ithelp with a 1-2 phones?
Coworker
7:49
Sure, OK.
Me
7:49
awesome
ever realize how loud this room in walkin is?
Coworker
7:49
?
No.
Me
7:50
ticking clock. buzzing lights. hvac, fans for computers…
dio: holy diver…
Coworker
7:50
Yeah, that Dio, we’ve asked Facilities to do something about it, but so far, nothing.
Me
7:52
heh. you’re far too alert in the morning… without the aid of coffee.
Coworker
7:53
Mwa ha ha ha
Me
7:53
Are you some kind of robot? And if so, what kind of powers do you have? Do you use them for good, or for awesome? Would you like to join forces? I just happen to be the greatest criminal mind of our time
Coworker
7:55
I have considered this, but your penchant for Rube Goldberg machines would likely render any such plots needlessly complex, and, while impressive, would take far too long to come to fruition, allowing the forces of good to thwart our scheme.
But you can build the chamber of excessively and unnecessarily slow torture mechanisms. Gotta have one of those, regardless of efficiency considerations. It’s simply good form.
Me
7:58
Bah. Fear not. Evil will always triumph over good, because good is stupid.
Coworker
7:58
“The love of power will always trump the power of love. Plan accordingly.”
Me
8:01
My cadre of elite Rube Goldbergian Ninjas, powered by a bowling ball falling into a set of pins and then triggering the mechanism found in the milton bradly boardgame, Mousetrap, which triggers a number of other ingenious mechanisms has defeated Dio. Apparently he was hiding in the ventilation shafts. His drummer gave him away.
However, I seem to now have an infestation of the Police, and their messages in a bottle.
Perhaps they are signaling for the rest of their super team to lend a hand. I shall have to prepare.
Coworker
8:02
It’s just murder by numbers, 1-2-3.
Me
8:04
I was right. they are sending an S.O.S to the world. I shall have to push forward for my plan for world domination.
